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  • Writer's pictureEmmi

Is Blonde Cheugy?

Now that Gen-Z’s frontal lobes have fully developed…I’d like to formally welcome them to the battle of the generations. Their greatest weapon? The word cheugy.

If you have any form of internet access or have been cognizant at all within the last year, you too are acutely aware of this hot button term that has become akin to mortal sin. To be cheugy is to be tacky, to be dated, to be…old. But what exactly fuels the flame that keeps the threat of all things cheugy burning? Who is making these calls and serving as omnipotent tastemaker? Gen-Z, duh; still, we cannot let these assertions go unchecked.

Let it be known, I am all for millennial and Gen-Z integration. I want to cohabitate in peace, in solidarity against our boomer parents, and maybe even argue that 1994 should make the cut (I will take everything I said back if you accept me as one of your own). However, they come baring some fighting words. The unprovoked attacks on the cultural staples that shaped us —not my favorite. In fact, they are getting pretty hard to defend. Side parts and skinny jeans were bound to cycle out…but the outlandish, cold-blooded, downright toxic claim that BLONDE itself is cheugy? This is criminal behavior. This is a threat to national security. This is me asking to speak to YOUR manager.

After hearing the news that blonde has been declared cheugy, I initially refused to pay it any mind. I scoffed and laughed it off. But after multiple people referenced this point I knew the information had spread too far and wide. Was there some validity to this statement that I didn’t understand? Was I actually off-trend? I wear some form of a crop top almost every single day, so I knew that couldn’t be true. I needed an explanation. I looked to TikTok, the Gen-Z bible, for answers. I even read a bizarre article from the New York Post on the topic (modern journalism is iconic)

Here is what I learned:

When the broad claim that blonde is cheugy was made, the term “expensive brunette” was referenced as what is new and hot. I am certainly not going to be advocating for cheap brunettes, I guess. What is expensive brunette? Drum roll please…a rooty, low maintenance dimensional color.

Huh? If I was drinking anything at the time an actual spit-take would have occurred. What does this sound so similar to? Oh, that would be balayage. Foilyage. Lived in hair. The coloring techniques that have literally shaped the entire beauty industry for the better part of the last decade. Generation Z has made the groundbreaking claim that blonde is cheugy and low-maintenance hair is in. Has everyone’s hair stylist not been screaming this in their face at every appointment? Did the Olsen twins undone hair not walk so Hailey Bieber’s could run? Is the entire younger generation trapped inside a Super Cuts in the mid-west? I am so excited that more and more people are realizing that highlights living directly on the root can be a bit gauche..but to make such blanket statements as “blonde is cheugy” is click-baiting, antagonistic behavior. Shame on them and their lack of knowledge on the intricacies of hair color! In their defense, they are just graduating college and probably could not afford balayage until recently.

In conclusion, I hope you can sleep peacefully tonight realizing that your blonde hair is in fact still on-trend. If I can’t debunk outlandish claims on the internet, what am I really good for? So the next time you’re out at a bar and you hear someone there drinking beside you was born after the year 2000…don’t let the ground fall out from beneath you. Look them in the eyes and tell them that your hair stylist actually told you highlights were out of style a long time ago (regardless of if this is true, I’ll back you up)

Just make sure you’re wearing baggy jeans.



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